a throbbing headache,a dizzying sensation is d result of crying long hours,chain smokin and self imposed starvation..an emotional melodrama is what describes the state of events..i cant even believe its true..
eliminating a not so bad guy from my life,another fight with a looser ex bf..lil fights with all friends and the inability to explain d transition in words..
but i know all's not lost and tomm's is another day..
my health is not irrevocably bad,my family is one of the best..some friends are still as imp and true and precious as ever..belief in my professional abilities and faith in something supernatural keeps me going..
as much as i wanna disappear and change somethings..i know i had a part to play in wot's going on..refuse to blame others..refuse to succumb to the pressure..i know ive dealt with worse things..i know its jus a passing phase..i refuse to give in..im not fightin but im not losin this battle either..i refuse to let this change me..my ideals and my principles that i believe in..i thank d stars for havin friends who speak the language of my heart..i know i can turn evil,can manipulate and take advantage..but i like looking in the mirror without facin guilt and shame..i cant do things lik tht..im holdin on to the goodness with all my strength..i'd rather go for long term peace than short term sadistic pleasure..i know it'll be a rocky lane but wot d heck..we'll see..coz its only after the night is darkest that dawn finally arrives..
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