i tag u..:)

the following people have been TAGGED by "moi"..n u guys better do it..:)

1.bikram

2.suraj

3.rohit

biggest joy at the moment

biggest insecurity at the moment

one thing u could undo if given an option

5 things life taught u the hard way

5 ppl who make life kickass(except ur family members obviously)

what are the qualities u imagine in ur "dream guy/girl")

one thing u wanna tell the world in general..

tagged...myself..lol

Last movie seen in theatre: dark knight(second time)...awwwsome..heath ledger is god.devil or wotever..he rules.

Book being read: none..im in an intellectually deprived stage o life

Favourite Board Game: monopoly,chess
Favourite magazine: reader's digest,vogue

Favourite smells: the smell of mud after the rain,of diesel perfume,of the way a baby smells after a bath,of freshy washed hair,of incense sticks,of mom..

Favourite sounds: of cow bells,of my anklets,of temple bells,of a yezdi doodhwala bike horn,of the newspaper being thrown outide,of the namaaz..o its hypnotic..of a baby's chuckle..of mom cribbing when im pretendin to sleep..of utensils when moms cookin

What is the first thing you think when you wake up: i pout..

Worst feeling in the world: of betrayal,of having being honest and told ur not trusted

Favourite fast food place: MC Donalds

Future child's name: aara..means somethin cool in some lang

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d..dream about wot to do..

Do you drive fast? o yeaa

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal..yeeks no

Storms- cool or scary? cool...

Do you eat the stems on broccoli? yea..

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice? copper

All towns/cities you have lived in jaipur and pune..n bombay n delhi..n well specify d duration dude

Favourite Sport to watch: its loosely to watch sports..well 20-20 is ok

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you ..nobody sent it..lol

What’s under your bed? ..things that were on the bed b4 i slept
Would you like to be born as yourself again? ..nope..

Morning person or night owl? ...owls dad/mom

Over easy or sunny side up? ...wtf does it mean

Favourite place to relax: any shady night jt

Favourite pie: ..none
Favourite Ice Cream:5 buck orange candy

my latest encounter with GOD

this is one of those writings which comprises of the remnants of the thoughts that crossed my mind while riding at a jeopardous speed on the Pune-Mumbai Expressway, riding

with a friend whom i can trust with my life, a friend who i would lose or withhold with the way the conversation turned out at the end of this chancy long ride
one o those lil things which mean a world and the memories of which last a lifetime
one of those supernatural experiences (a bike ride at a precarious speed,an adrenaline rush..love..passion..trust..conflict..devotion...wanting..craving..desire..hope and all o this combined with the sensation of rough cold wind brushing past(bruising ur face,tangling ur hair..teasing u..leaving u feelin tired..n wantin. )
u find urself prayin..n living for the moment and lettin go

this is a vague feeling,uneartly,divine..one of those moments where u can feel the presence of god around you,near you and inside you,a feeling of being blessed..
and a vague conversation where you communicate with the other person through words (spoken and unspkoen),through touch,through eyes,through vibes,through instinct,through that divine prsence
and u feel an aura around you,a halo that only the two of u can see.

when ur entranced by this conversation and the nearness with that person andthat darkness of the night is when god makes his 'blink n miss' appearance,its in this state of enchantment that u can say u felt the presence of god around u ..and blinked jus when u thought u saw him..that's when u know ur blessed by the presence of that person in ur life,and u are in love with that feeling,that bliss

the air smells of roses again,the world has not lost all its beauty..the remote strand of green is still a hope in a vast endless desert....problems still evaporate with the whiff of fresh air...conversations still lead to retained and renewed friendship...

meet.silence.dope.love.pause.where do u wanna go?anywhere..ride.ccd..nope..ride till u ask me to stop.temple.purity.fresh air..cold wind brushin past my face,bruising it,past my hair,tanglin it,i lean forward.rest.lean back.distance...hope..punishment.redemption.

a belief in purity..an imagination

children playin in d fields...meadows..cow bells..randomly strewn modern buildings in the middle of the most rustic settin..a contradiction called India..where the racing bike,cycle rickshaw and bullock cart all stop at the same traffic signal..the slums runnin parallel to the skyscrapers..where one wears gucci and another a lungi..i hate it,feel bad,pity it..o how i love it...my land ..my country..the roads covered time by cow dung and mud..washed by the first monsoon rain..the smell of earth after the rain..the children...rich n poor...

we can feel all the selflessness which is the opposite of hate,and lust and greed and manipulation which is the opposite of love..(this is major plagiarism at work..lol)

...this was one of those soul stirring moments where u know all's not lost,that love still makes the world go around ,a hope in purity,in love,in beauty...an encounter with god..

TAGGED

5 things you wish you could say to people. (Don't take names)

u creep me out..i think ur jus the sickest human alive,if at all ur human..whats with the attitude seriously ..wot d hell is wrong with u..ur quite ugly and not so social ..definitely not liked and admired by many..i was probably nicer to u than anyone ever was or would be..i finally realise u suck and well that u never did deserve me..:)

ur my best friend,i really did love u and kinda regret breakin up..i know that we could never be together forever but dating u or even gettin to know u was one of the best things that ever happened to me

lol..im no"rebound girl"..i think ur jus plain retarded and need to get a life..

im sorry for all the things i said,i was jus angry, and i expected too much out of u at a very early stage of knowin u..
i think ur quite nice but u were jus bringing back some bad memories plus yes i think i did deserve a lot more attention..wish u were a lil more proactive.!!..sigh

u bitch,i pity u..seriously do..i introduced u to my first bf,u planned our breakup and started datin him..thats was ok..coz that loser n u deserved each other..
then my next bf..who was my first so called love..u introduced her to one of ur slimy friends who was ready to act as a rebound...u also made her lie to him about me..what on earth is ur prob..u need a psychiatrist ..lol..

o life

a throbbing headache,a dizzying sensation is d result of crying long hours,chain smokin and self imposed starvation..an emotional melodrama is what describes the state of events..i cant even believe its true..
eliminating a not so bad guy from my life,another fight with a looser ex bf..lil fights with all friends and the inability to explain d transition in words..
but i know all's not lost and tomm's is another day..
my health is not irrevocably bad,my family is one of the best..some friends are still as imp and true and precious as ever..belief in my professional abilities and faith in something supernatural keeps me going..
as much as i wanna disappear and change somethings..i know i had a part to play in wot's going on..refuse to blame others..refuse to succumb to the pressure..i know ive dealt with worse things..i know its jus a passing phase..i refuse to give in..im not fightin but im not losin this battle either..i refuse to let this change me..my ideals and my principles that i believe in..i thank d stars for havin friends who speak the language of my heart..i know i can turn evil,can manipulate and take advantage..but i like looking in the mirror without facin guilt and shame..i cant do things lik tht..im holdin on to the goodness with all my strength..i'd rather go for long term peace than short term sadistic pleasure..i know it'll be a rocky lane but wot d heck..we'll see..coz its only after the night is darkest that dawn finally arrives..

one of those lil things

i stepped inside the auto from one side,and she from the other
she jus stepped back down when i settled inside..and right before that her eyes met mine..
those beautiful eyes jus saddened instantly..it was one of those old faces that still showed childlike emotions.the disappointment was so obvious in her eyes..
she was one old woman,definitely not v well off.
i guessed that the auto guy had volunteered to drop her at her place free of cost n that's when i entered..she stepped back without a word. coz it was obvious that he'd prefer me over her,coz i'd pay..
i volunteered to drop her where she had to go...she stepped inside again..then the auto guy said that place was 6 kms away...so she stepped out again..
she left without a word..but that childlike innocence at her age,was somethin that stayed with me,how easily she had shown that disappointment and smiled as if it was her fate..i did feel bad,for a second or two ,before i went on to do what i had to

boredom kills

yes,it's an interesting and understated facet of life.

Fun,pleasure,pain,love,betrayal are all well read about and widely acknowledged topics but wot about boredom?? Since im bored enough to write about it right now,i hope i'll be able to do justice to this rather crucial topic.

Boredom occurs when u've nothin to do and when's there's nothin ur looking forward to..

u wake up in d mornin..ur not happy,not sad,have no plans...so wot do u think about?

its a rather unpleasant 'state of mind'..its an idle mind,which as we all know can create havoc if not treated in time..

ur so bored that its an overwhelming feelin.Ur hungry and sleepy but boredom is perhaps the only feeling(if i may refer to it as a feelin)that can b more overwhelming than the 2 basic instincts of hunger and sleep.Ur so bored that the first thing in d morning that u do is to go through ur call list to find people that u might make plans with..not that u don have friends,but uve been feelin particularly choosy off late n decide to narrow down ur socialisin options to 2/3 people who are fun and at the same time intellectually stimulating..now thats a tough call..

so u call them while ur feelin guilty ,jobless,insecured and again bored all at the same time..so in a mesh of those complicated feelings u call up someone, hopin against hopes, that they will cheer u up or make a plan and then u'll find temporary solace in their esteemed company..yes,boredom makes u place those chosen 2/3 people on a pedestal that they might/might not deserve..

so well the plan's made but with certain underlined conditions which include meetin at a certain place and for a certain time. when u call someone in such circumstances and they agree to meet u on specified conditions,u feel lik a dog who's barking to get his masters attention so that he can go pee...how much worse does it get..!...wish u were a dog so that u could jus pee on their 100 dollar carpet to make them realise their mistake of not givin u attention at the right time..so yea well u feel worse than a dog who wants to pee....coz there's nothin that ur peein on d carpet is goin to prove to the person concerned.
u agree to meet them on their terms and conditions and feel happy and find that temporary solace,but the feelings of human dignity seem to vanish.So even this temporary solace is tainted with the feeling of being ultra helpless and jobless.by now uve had enough..not that pedestal persona better show u a REALLY good time..lol...but NO...boredom and bad luck go hand in hand..the plan's cancelled..!!...awwww...
u feel suicidal or murderous when the pedestal guy/girl decides to cancel the plan that u were looking forward to for the whole of last week...what do u do then??...(pee..no shutup thats not an option..thats for dogs)...u call em up to say really mean things..(but in temporary phases of sanity u decide against it coz well although that pedestal guy is makin u feel worse than a dog but still its not him to blame..not entirely..theres the rain..esp the pune rain..that starts only when ur all dressed up and ready to make a move towards that temporary solace...'the rain god in pune is definitely sadistic in nature'.).. to hell with sanity..u decide to call up the person who cancelled d plan and shout at him and say all nasty shit which u might/might not mean..and they obviously don take it well coz they cant comprehend the reason of ur overreaction to begin with..But wot reason can u give them neway .?...i barked at u lik a rabid dog coz u called off the plan i was looking forward to for 7 long days and that makes me feel lik shit coz i suck at boredom management....yea so wot..its not as stupid as it sounds..if people can have anger management issues..if they can have ego hassles..they why cant i have boredom management issues..i do..and i accept it..im sorry..

i know i lost u coz i had those issues..but would it be more justified if it was plain mad anger or ego...no it woulDnt be..atleast in my case i like u..i placed u on that pedestal and i looked forward to ur plan for 7 days..and u called it off...coz of the rain or ur mood or whatever other contingency...don let rain god/devil do this to us...!...it might sound funny..but yes ive lost a friend a two coz of this..what d heck...so wot if i get bored..i still remain choosy and choose to hang out only with those pedestal ppl...now those pedestal ppl have to adjust to this seemingly inhuman or trivial issue of my boredom..c'mon...understand if u can..

but boredom can kill..it leads to anger,helplessness,worthlessness,and all o that stuff..take it seriously...!...and well ..forgive me for being bored and holdin u responsible..i wish was a dog..they don even lose their master for peein on that carpet..sigh..

hold this gaze,let thy eyes conquer my heart

fond tears,blind me not yet! a little longer
let my sad eyes a little longer gaze
and leave their last beams here.

even been so hurt ..that you couldn't cry?
and then met someone whose eyes seem to hide more tears,and heart more pain?
and jus a look into those eyes made you wanna breakdown?

My brother from another mother

this blog is my way of tellin my friends how much they matter to me coz im really bad at expressing such corny feelings in words
..so well there's this guy I've known ever since I've come to Pune..he's one stuck up moron at first sight..he's nice and all but still stuck up..like really difficult to talk to ...for eg. lol if u go to mocha and he imagines u are uncomfortable then he'll try and make u comfortable by sayin things lik "basically this is a v chilled out place"..now who does such things..like really..!!!
he'll be there for u....always..and i mean always(go away man..)...
if ur lucky and he likes ur "core" then well he'll be there...the word loyalty might have been invented to describe that trait of his..
whether its money or conveyance or convenience or anything for that matter...u can jus leave it to him..
he'll give u good advice free of cost(even if u dont ask for it)..make ur life better in whichever way he can..
sometimes when i look back at the time spent in Pune and think of people who have mattered ..there's always his mention..but much lesser than it ought to be..he'll mostly be the guy in d background ..

if i dint have an elder brother,i would wish for one lik him.he's wot i call, my brother from another mother.

no matter how many times i tell him that his wife will commit suicide (lol) i've come to realize and i have to confess that his chic will be the luckiest chic ever born...!!
well obviously i'll also be jealous coz i'll get lesser attention..heheh..i know that wont happen..or i wont let it happen..
i remem times when I've been extremely unreasonable and have wanted to go for a bike ride..and he's been the one to take me for a ride when no one else did..jus coz i wanted to go..
i remem gettin high..holdin his hand like a lil girl and sulking and throwing as many tantrums as i could coz he was leavin me and goin somewhere else..
i remem all the times when he rode to all the 24*7 joints in town at 3 in d morning in the rain jus coz i happened to mention i hadn't had food...
i remem him takin me to the doc..every single time ive fallen ill in pune..
i remem him takin over the role of my mom..dad..brother..best friend..guardian..everything as and when it was required..
i remem blindly dialing his no..whenever i had the slightest problem..n i cant remem a single time he wasnt there.

i hate him..really do coz he makes fun of all the relationshipS i've had in life
.i love him for examining and cross examining all the guys ive liked or even been friends with ..lol(they're not chintus or henpecked okieee)l.. im sure all of em hate him...!!..hehhe..he's made sure they were worth me or i was safe around em and given them signals like"if u mess around with her then well u'll have ur bones broken"..well it suits me just fine coz this guy puts all my prospective bfs through an acid test and well if a guy likes me then he'll have to clear this acid test coz this guy's consent and approval would be paramount to me.
he's listened to me say the same things again and again..he's tried to get to know me and my silly lil ego and my stupid lil insecurities..
he waits in ncc at 7 15 in d morning jus to provide incentive for me to go to college.
its unbelievable how i trust him enough to sit with him on d bike even after he's consumed all the intoxicants known to mankind
There were times when i got to see his faults..his shortcomings..even in those times i trusted him..and respected him but wot changed was that i finally saw imperfections in my ever perfect friend and i started likin him even more..i saw how he handled his many problems..all of which happened at the same time..the chic prob..the friends backin off..the health probs..the fights..everything..i saw how he dealt with those problems..i realized he was stronger than i thought..stronger than most poeple i know..i realized how strong his values and principles are..

he's one of the best things that ever happened to me..and this town feels like home coz he's around
well deserved testimonials lik this cant ever fit in 1024 characters so this one's just for him..and im sure there'll be lots more on him so this is to be contd...!!