back and forth and round and round

Its a recent occurrence and the transition is still underway..its being thought about..or i hope it is..
I'm sure this one will be edited sooner than later..its more for me..actually only for me..but i want to write it nevertheless..
lol..it reminds me of the Jeniffer Paige song.."it's just a Lil crush..not like i faint every time we touch."
wish it was that simple..I'm afraid now it isn't.
i had a crush...not Lil..for me the matters of the hearts are never Lil..
so well i did have a crush..and then it took a backseat in my mind for a while to come..lots of things happened between that time and this
..Now just as i was starting to be happy being the cynic,beginning to believe in "relationships and love are bullshit" phrase..actually not love..Love's never bullshit..never..!so just as i was happy believing relationships are overrated ,god or d devil(yet to find that out which one..transition underway remember)decided to bring in "fate"...and i finally admit(crap how much i hate it.) that not everything is in my hands..that i wasn't the best choice for the cynic's role.

so well the god or devil or fate or what the f**k ever brought the crush guy back to the center stage..and it turns out..he's not the crush material..not the fling material either..ahem ..he might jus have been the only guy ,who (for good or bad and for reasons beyond mine and everybody else's comprehension )could have pulled me out of my cynical phase and made me remember the faded definition of love i swore by...pure n innocent n inexplicable and spontaneous and meant to be....n so on..

i don't know about him..but Ive most definitely fallen in love with love again..and whatever might happen in future i thank him(or may be not) for bringing out the "me" in me..!